Episode 110

(New York, September 19, 2019)

Karkov eyed Alana with an amused grin. “You sure do know how to butter up a guy,” he exclaimed at length. “Let’s see … you’ve called me evil, killable, ungrateful, a turd, and a prick. Did I list them all? Oh, and you also threatened to kill my unoffending staff.” He dabbed a fictitious tear. “They have families you know.”

“Since when do you care about that?” Alana shot back. “And I didn’t call you a prick. I just said you looked and dressed like one. Now I’m calling you a prick. Because, well, you know, you are one.”

Karkov stretched back in his seat. “You may want to work on your presentation. You’re a girl — well, an old hag if we’re being honest — of many talents, but begging for help isn’t one of them.”

Alana’s scowl promised a retort, but before one could coalesce he added, “Because you came to me. Which means I must have something you want.” He gave her a disdainful look. “You used to be much more subtle, I think.”

“How would you know?” she groused. “We hardly ever spoke.”

“Everyone knew. You were subtle, not obscure. Now it seems you’ve become the opposite.”

Alana stared at him, lips pursed. It was her way of speaking anger, and all who knew her were aware that it generally portended some indescribable piece of nastiness. A nastiness which would play out without a harsh word or raised voice, and was all the more fearful for it.

She realized the absurdity of wasting such a portent on Karkov. He was one of a handful of individuals who could laugh it off, and he would. At least it signaled her displeasure, though she doubted he would care. Besides, she was mostly upset with herself, not him. The man was just sniping at her, nothing new. But, this time he had hit a nerve. No, she had let him hit a nerve. She was less subtle, and that worried her.

This, more than anything, could prove her undoing when it came to Rin. A century of quiet self-reflection would probably serve to restore her prowess, but she didn’t have a century. If she wanted to survive, she would have to recover her wits some other way.

She smiled. “I am glad I seem unsubtle to you. I find it easier to deal with fools.”

“I imagine you must, given how much time you spend with that brother of yours.”

This time Alana did not take the bait. She looked away. “Subtlety aside, I had good reason to become obscure. Somebody made it the only prudent course.”

Karkov chuckled. “You still hold a grudge over that?”

Alana regarded him coldly but said nothing.

He sighed. “I’ll admit to a few youthful excesses. I’ve done so before, if you recall.”

“Yet, I’ve never heard an apology.”

“Neither have I, and you have far more to apologize for.”

“I have no idea of what you speak.”

Karkov sighed. “Well, I suppose we go through this rigmarole every few centuries or so. I don’t recollect marrying you, but maybe I just missed the ceremony. Or maybe …” He looked at his watch. “Yep, must be that time of the millennium.”

He glanced at Alana and smirked. “You fled because you were a coward. I actually didn’t intend any harm, at least to you. You just assumed I did and tucked tail and ran. I mean, it’s embarrassing really — an Eight fleeing at the slightest hint of danger.”

Alana put down her cup. “You’ll forgive me if I don’t believe you.”

“Of course. I’ve already forgiven you much worse. You just don’t know it.” Karkov’s eyes were not laughing.

“And what, pray tell, needed forgiving?” she asked through clenched teeth.

“Don’t feign ignorance.”

“I’m afraid you imagine yourself cleverer than you are.” She looked at him. “Which, in your case, is almost a given. I’m sure you think you know something, but your innuendo is lost on me. I can’t read your mind and certainly wouldn’t want to.”

Alana decided it didn’t matter what he meant. After this long, they all had their baggage. Maybe she had snagged the last cabbage in the market one time. Who the hell knew what rankled after so long? She was about to change the subject when, much to her surprise, Karkov elaborated.

“You were the head priestess, for heaven’s sake. Quite literally. You were supposed to be the conduit to the gods, the purest of the pure. Instead, you manipulated a beautiful young woman, you nurtured her worst impulses, and you slept with her. You corrupted her in every sense of the word. When she first came to you with her crazy ideas, did you quash them? Did you give her a slap or a hug and tell her to abandon this obscene path? Did you threaten to burn the madness out of her? Oh no. That’s not what you said, was it?”

Alana looked down.

“I thought as much. You feared the first wrinkle as much as the shallowest strumpet. For all your claims to spirituality and wisdom, you’re just like every other woman. All this,” Karkov gestured grandly, “for female vanity.”

Alana was tempted to point out that he had benefited in no small measure from this so-called female vanity or that he had used and betrayed Rin in a far worse manner. To her own surprise, she did not. In fact, his words inspired no anger at all.

“It’s not that,” she quietly protested. “I did love her – but, more importantly, she was right.”

Karkov raised an eyebrow. “Hasn’t time quenched your folly, you damned and damnable whore?”

Unperturbed by the outburst, Alana patiently explained — though she was unsure to what end, as he surely would not listen. Perhaps she sought to convince herself, though she doubted she could do so.

“We learn about the cycle of life, that death is the will of the gods, and that our souls will be reborn or transcend or some similar nonsense. What would you think of cows that endlessly debated philosophy and the purpose of being a cow, yet accepted their slaughter without question or protest? Are they devout and wise? Have they achieved serenity and enlightenment? Of course not. We would laugh at them as the meek, submissive fools they are.”

“We have been tricked into believing — or choose to do so from convenience — that because everybody has died, everybody must die. That death is our fate rather than a monstrosity we suffer because we’re too lazy or dumb to prevent it. If we consider death natural or sacred, why treat illness? Is not that too the will of the gods or part of the cycle of life?”

She smiled. “You think me a fraud. But who is the bigger fraud – the priestess who tells obvious lies about things which never could be or the king who tells subtle ones about the things which are?”

Karkov studied Alana for a few moments, and she was surprised by the fleeting expression which graced his face. To his credit, he quickly disguised it.

“It’s too bad, you know. I would have liked you back then,” he announced at length.

Alana’s eyes made clear that she did not reciprocate the sentiment, though in some small way she felt flattered.

After a moment he spoke again. “Very well. I doubt that either of us will have anything useful to say, but I will offer my tat for your tit.”

Alana rolled her eyes. “I have no interest in your tat. And you shall have none of my tit, rest assured.”

Karkov grinned. “From what I hear, I’d be the only one.”

Alana was preparing another eye roll but stopped short. He had reminded her of a question she always meant to ask but invariably thought of only after they parted ways.

“Well, let’s start with something that’s bugged me for a long time. Did you ever love her?”

Karkov seemed puzzled for a moment, then frowned. “Ah, I see. You are the mother, the big sister, the friend. Do you have any idea how absurd it is to hear you speak of love, who are so far removed from it? But I said I would answer, and this I will do with pleasure. I have always loved her. I loved her from afar when she was a young priestess. I loved her on the day we met. I loved her when — beyond all expectation and joy — she desired me for her own. I loved her when she made me immortal. I loved her when I put her in the ground. And I love her now, even as she seeks my destruction. I’m sure she wishes to wrap me in a hell far more terrible than any other. And during my eternity in that hell, a day will not pass when I do not love her.”

Alana looked shocked. Then she burst into laughter. “My gods, listen to you. It seems I was wrong to view you as some high and mighty king or master strategist. You’re just a lovelorn pup.”

“That’s not very nice,” Karkov muttered petulantly. “How do you know I’m not manipulating you right now?”

“Nobody could come up with such saccharine rubbish except the fool who believes it.”

Karkov narrowed his eyes and fixed her with an icy stare. “Well, I’m glad at least one of us loves her.”