Episode 111

(New York, September 19, 2019)

Alana smiled. “Oh, quit your pouting. I truly did love her. Don’t flatter yourself that you had some sort of monopoly on that — assuming your love is even genuine, a point on which I still harbor strong doubts.”

Before Karkov could object, she put up her hand. “None of that matters at the moment. It’s irrelevant which of us loves her or how much. The days when our feelings about her carried any weight are long past. All that matters now is what she thinks of us, and I doubt it’s pretty. I’m just trying to figure out what she has in store for me.”

Karkov offered a wry grin.

Alana hesitated a moment before adding, “For the record, her plan for you isn’t some dismal horror. In fact, it’s the least hellish alternative I can imagine.”

“I don’t suppose you’d care to offer more detail, since you seem to know something?”

Despite her frustration with Karkov, something made Alana want to console the man. She admired that he could transform her feelings toward him with so few words. Something similar happened almost every time they met. Sometimes, she intentionally resurrected old ills just to see what tactic he would adopt. The man rarely disappointed. This was one of the reasons she never tired of his company. Alana wondered whether that was why she had been so peevish. Was she just upset because she didn’t get to play with him last time?

She doubted she would ever trust Karkov but had long ago ceased to consider him a potential threat, if she ever had. This was a point of which she was uncertain, but one she considered of little relevance. There was a threat out there, and it wasn’t him. Rin had truly become what he had merely pretended to be, and this struck Alana as more obscene than anything else. How had that adorable little girl become such an embittered misanthrope? Perhaps Karkov was right, and it was Alana’s fault. She sighed. There was a truth buried in there somewhere, but she was sure neither of them wished to remember it.

In offering this last morsel to Karkov, Alana sensed she was straying into dangerous territory. If there was anything that Rin could legitimately regard as a betrayal it would be this, even if it was a half-truth at best. The whole thing was pure speculation anyway. Who the hell knew what that crazy woman was thinking? Alana had no reason to believe anything Rin told her, least of all that laughable excuse for a plan. Sharing it with Karkov amounted to nothing more than office-cooler talk. Since she knew nothing, there could be no betrayal. If anything, Karkov was the victim — if he could be called that. She was offering him a harmless lie, a small and temporary solace.

For all she knew, Rin wanted Karkov to know the complete idiotic plan. It was exhausting to watch every word, and Alana decided not to bother. She would opine as she saw fit on what she saw fit. Rin surely knew that she would take every measure possible, including this. And if she didn’t, the woman wasn’t a threat worth worrying about after all.

No, this couldn’t be considered a betrayal. If Rin wanted to fabricate a transgression, she’d have to do better. Besides, Alana could always smooth things over later. The woman’s entire proposal for Karkov was so incredibly stupid, it had to be a joke. If not, Alana would be doing her a favor by taking it out of play. Besides, Karkov wouldn’t believe a word of it anyway. It was a harmless lie that would be perceived as such.

Alana took a deep breath and explained Rin’s black-hole plan, trying hard not to laugh as she did so. When she was done, Karkov stared at her in disbelief for a few moments.

“So you see, from your point of view, it would be painless,” she concluded. “You’d see the world fast-forward for a short time and then everything would end.”

Karkov continued to stare, and Alana began to fear she had made a terrible mistake. Maybe this was his secret weakness.

The man exploded into laughter.

“It isn’t that ridiculous an idea,” Alana protested. Despite her absolute certainty that it was, she inexplicably felt compelled to defend Rin. “She could do it, you know.”

Karkov’s convulsions of laughter subsided and he sat up. “Oh, I bet she could.” He was obviously struggling to prevent a second bout.

“Sorry. I really do appreciate your telling me.” He wiped a tear from his eye. “It’s just that it’s so …”

“Ludicrous?” offered Alana.

“Her,” Karkov replied. “Rin probably didn’t even consider that the same could be done to her.”

Alana shook her head. “She said it couldn’t for some reason.”

Karkov composed himself, took a deep breath, and fixed her eyes. “It seems you have me at a disadvantage. You know my current name, but I do not know yours.”

“I signed the note with it,” Alana pointed out, surprised at the sudden change of subject. She had assumed that Karkov would be singularly interested in a plot which concerned him and would pepper her with questions. Even if the plan was laughable, the intent behind it was not. He had seemed to understand this, so why the sudden change of attitude?

“All I remember was that I didn’t recognize the name,” Karkov replied.

Alana stared at him. “You came here without knowing it was me? Your people didn’t even tell you that much?”

Karkov stretched his arms lazily. “The advantage of being a Sixteen. I am well-nigh indestructible, so I don’t much care.”

“It’s the ‘well-nigh’ part that should worry you. On another note, there’s something I have to ask …”

“Your name?” Karkov insisted.

“You can call me Alana.”

“Then, I will.” His words sounded oddly archaic to her. Did he think she was actually Rin? Even if the woman was unrecognizable, he knew what Alana looked like. It wasn’t as if Rin could disguise herself as anyone she chose, or at least she hadn’t mentioned such an ability. Perhaps Karkov knew something that Alana did not.

She stopped herself. Did Karkov even know that Rin was unrecognizable? Maybe he had learned it through his spies or deduced it somehow. Though she hadn’t given it any thought at the time, he had referred to Rin by her current appellation. The obvious conclusion was that he had been keeping tabs on her. It wouldn’t be far-fetched to imagine he knew other things as well.

If he did think she was a disguised Rin, had he spouted all that rubbish for her benefit? It would cast the entire conversation in a new light.

“I’m not her,” Alana announced.

Karkov looked confused but quickly smiled. “I think I’d know my own wife.”

“Would you?”

The man sighed. “You have a point.”

Was he insinuating that he did know, or was he just bemoaning the frailty of memory? Alana desperately wanted to ask him outright but knew she could not. Accidentally revealing Rin’s unrecognizability to him would be worse than imprudent. In fact, it could be one of the few things that Rin would not be willing to overlook. To avoid this danger, Alana decided to stick with her original question.

“So, I have to ask,” she began again.

“You have to.”

She shot him a sharp look before resuming. “If you loved Rin as much as you claim, why did you do what you did?”

“Well, when a man and a woman love one another … I know you were in the clergy, but I thought somebody would have explained that sort of stuff to you.”

Another cold look followed, and Karkov slumped back in his chair with an air of boredom.

“Oh, that. There was a reason.”

“It’s funny — when I asked why she was intent on murdering us, Rin said the same thing. There was a reason.”

Karkov nodded. “Perhaps they’re not as unrelated as you think. I suspect that her reason and mine are quite similar, in fact. I believe my own course of action to be better justified, though. My reason is also why I make every effort to avoid fighting her directly.”

Alana smirked. “Because you know you’d lose? I didn’t think you were that big of a coward.”

“You must not know me very well, then. Incidentally, what does that make the woman who fled at my subtlest frown?” Karkov leaned into a whisper. “Coward to a coward. It doesn’t get much lower than that. Or were you simply too witless to see through my lie? I tell you what — I’m a generous man. I’ll leave the choice to you: coward or fool.”

“I made the choice to meet with you, so obviously both. And no, I didn’t flee at your ‘subtlest frown.’ In fact, it was largely coincidental. I had a reason.”

“See, you too had a reason. We all have reasons for all the things we do. Isn’t life wonderful? Chock-full of reasons, none of which matter to anyone, least of all ourselves. It’s a very convenient word, no?” When this elicited no reaction from Alana, he sat back and sighed.

“The reason I did this thing was simple.”

“Which thing?” It took Alana a moment to recall the flow of the conversation. By then, Karkov was frowning.

“I thought you wanted to know. Well, if it is of so little consequence to you …”

“You’re actually going to tell me?” Alana realized that she was on her feet and people were staring at her. She settled back into her chair, slightly mortified. Her surprise remained.

Every time they met, she peppered Karkov with recriminations. And every time, he declined to defend himself, always settling for one tepid excuse or another. It had been necessary. It was for everyone’s good. It was the hardest thing he ever did. Once he even claimed it was for Rin’s own good. That had earned him a smack in the face, or at least an abortive attempt at one. He had ducked long before the blow landed. The man was pretty quick for somebody who never needed to dodge anything, and Alana marveled that he had acquired the reflex. Then again, a guy like him probably had plenty of practice being smacked in the face.

Alana was unbothered by most of the man’s malarkey, but this particular topic was a sore spot. She never could stomach his evasions on it. On more than one occasion, she had departed without a word when he started into them. It was an avoidable battle and an unnecessary one. If Karkov wished to evade he would evade, and prolonging the attempt would only produce frustration. Alana saw little point in suffering through such a thing.

Unfortunately, this time she had no choice. The topic had arisen too early in their conversation, before she had a chance to accomplish her purpose. The fault was hers, of course, and the moment she raised it she regretted the timing. But now, the entire calculus had changed. If she had unaccountably caught the man in a communicative mood, it could be worth some aggravation. Even so, Alana didn’t hold out much hope. There would be a long buildup, and then he’d pull out the rug and decide he was going to dicker around like usual. Still, she hadn’t imagined that Karkov would even pretend to accede to her request.

“Well I’m not so sure now,” he grumbled.

Alana gave him an annoyed look. “What a shocker.”

“Well,” he continued, “I don’t feel any need to explain myself, least of all to you. But, in light of recent events, it may be useful for you to know about this.”

“Useful to you or me?”

“Both.”

“So, I somehow need to know why you’re innocent?” Alana scoffed. “That’s rich.”

Karkov smiled. “I am far from innocent, my dear. And so are you. I never claimed innocence or any other virtue. Just common sense. That’s all this ever was about.” He looked at her. “Is about.”

“And … ?” Alana prodded.

“Each of us has a set of protections,” Karkov began. “They are constraints — instructions to the universe, but not of it. There is no natural way to accommodate such constraints. They do not fit into the universe. Each is a violation, a forcing. Every time they operate, the world’s natural order is disturbed. Presumably, the greater the number and extent of such violations, the more unnatural the universe becomes. Perhaps other unnatural elements are introduced as a result. Rin never considered this until far too late. Then she started hunting us. There may also be an element of revenge when it comes to me, but I doubt she bears the rest of you any ill-will. You certainly pose no threat to her, at least not in her current incarnation. I suspect she is simply cleaning up the mess she made. Sadly, we are that mess.”

Karkov paused to sip his latte before continuing.

“Apparently, she cannot undo the protections or destroy us completely — so she does what she can. I’d guessed as much for some time, but only recently learned the details.”

“How?”

“Why, from her, of course.”