[Author’s note: This episode is from Daryl's point of view.]
When Daryl showed up, he was puzzled by the packed suitcase but said nothing. Rin was sitting at the table, tapping her foot on the floor impatiently. He thought he knew all her moods, but this was a new one. She wasn’t angry or predatory or frustrated or just plain tired. It was something Daryl never had seen. She seemed anxious, but that made no sense. Why would an invulnerable woman be anxious? He felt concerned for her. Part of him wanted to comfort her but wasn’t sure how, and part of him wanted to know what could make Rin anxious — and whether it could be used against her.
For the first time, Daryl realized that all Rin’s apartments looked the same. Was this intentional, or was she just cheap? Few things were as unsettling as the consistent ordering of a compulsive mind. Its sheer inflexibility. Daryl felt a vague disquiet, as if in the presence of a serial killer. He recognized the absurdity of this the moment he thought it. Serial killer? He had seen Rin do things which would make most serial killers blanch. She was so much more than that.
“You’re late,” Rin fumed, glancing up.
“If you’d prefer me to go, I’ll be happy to,” Daryl replied, unfazed.
For reasons he could not explain, Daryl never had feared Rin. By all rights he should have, as any sane person would. He had seen what she could do, what she did do, what she had threatened to do to him on several occasions. She had started their relationship by attempting to burn his scrotum and hadn’t been much gentler since. He only was alive because the toaster cord didn’t reach, or at least that’s how he remembered it. He corrected himself: no, she had started with that other thing many years ago. Not that that was any better.
Maybe it was true when they said your first could do no wrong. Well, this first had done plenty. Was that what distinguished a successful relationship from a tortured corpse — the length of a toaster cord? He supposed it made as much sense as anything else. Was that what this was — a relationship? However hard he tried, Daryl could not envision it as such. He also could not remember a life before Rin. Most of all, he could not explain to himself why she didn’t terrify him, however much she terrorized him.
Although he never had stood in awe of Rin, and despite his declared intention to kill her, Daryl at first had felt something akin to reverence as her apprentice — even if he hadn’t shown it. As he grew more familiar with her over the past two years, that reverence gave way to a more unadorned impression. At the same time, his increasing fluency in English bred a certain confidence. He now could express himself, even if he often failed to explain himself.
But there was more to it than this. Daryl’s confusion stemmed from a fundamental contradiction. As an immortal, Rin was beyond his ken. She hailed from a time he did not know, thought in ways alien to him, and was far more complex than any being he had encountered. But, instrument of the gods or no, Rin still was very much a woman. A weird sort of woman unlike any Daryl had met, but a woman all the same. He wondered whether anything else really mattered. He actually had some suspicions about the divine mission, though he dared not air these. While he didn’t fear death at Rin’s hands, Daryl did not wish to lose her. How could he kill Rin if he lost her?
The real problem was that he had seen too much of her. Sex was part of this. It was hard to have reverence for a woman he had seen moaning beneath the sheets. That went both ways, but he was under no illusion that she ever harbored respect for him.
Something about this bothered Daryl. Rin must have had many lovers over the years, and he doubted she allowed them to treat her with impudence. Had she murdered them when they grew too familiar?
He had no doubt he would be high on that list. Perhaps he was different because they had lived together. Had Rin shacked up with other guys before? Daryl couldn’t be sure, but suspected she was more of a solitary creature. He had seen her eat and shit and fail to cook. How could a woman who was heaven-knew-how-old not know how to cook? He wondered why the gods hadn’t taught her that along with all the stuff about killing Proteges. Imposing as she could be, Rin remained simple and human in many ways. And Daryl knew those ways, when nobody else did. This was the intimacy which had evolved, with all its attendant danger.
Yet for all that intimacy, this was new. He had seen many sides to Rin during their time together. But there was one thing he never had seen. The invulnerable woman was vulnerable.
Rin grumbled at Daryl to sit down. Instead he walked around and began giving her a shoulder massage.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she snapped, but didn’t jerk away.
“Should I stop?” he whispered.
“I didn’t call you here for a damned massage,” Rin pouted.
“Then what for?” The question had a tone of polite inquiry.
“I’ve got a job for you.”
Ah well, it was to be business. Daryl returned to the other side of the table and began to sit down.
“Did I say you could sit down?” Rin genuinely sounded annoyed.
Daryl shrugged and sat anyway. “Yeah, actually you did. What is it?”
“I need you to put me in a good mood. I have received some very bad news, which I must attend to. We must disappear for a while.”
“Was it about your next target?”
Rin gave him a sharp look. “Shut the hell up and make me feel better.”
“And how should I do that?”
“How the fuck should I know? Do your damned job.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re high maintenance?” Daryl asked.
Rin smirked. “You mean like the little puppy dog that follows me around, begging for scraps at his master’s feet.”
“Well, then I’d best not be that.” Daryl rose to leave.
“I suppose that’s how little of a man you are,” Rin shot back peevishly. “Sure you’re all tough talk, promise to do whatever it takes to kill me, however long it takes, blah blah blah. But you balk at even a simple fuck if you don’t feel like it. Soldiers don’t just do what they feel like, dipshit.”
Daryl stood in the doorway looking at her.
Suddenly Rin’s face lit up, and she flitted over and ground her pelvis into him. “Or maybe you can’t get it up, hero boy.”
Daryl rolled his eyes but didn’t leave. She was right, he realized. This was work. Not just learning how to kill her, but being with her. He was her man, whatever she may call it. And the relationship wasn’t just about what he wanted. Sometimes it was about being there for her, however much she pissed him off. If it was going to be one-sided, he preferred for it to be her side than his. Until the day he destroyed her, Daryl would be there for her. He couldn’t explain this; it simply was what felt right to him. Besides, something clearly was amiss at the moment.
Rin was impatient and Rin was angry and Rin was cruel, but Rin always was impatient and angry and cruel. This was different. She hadn’t even offered an excuse. She wasn’t just exerting her power over him or using him as a whipping boy. She did need him to put her in a good mood. But first he had to know why she was in a bad one, and that meant weathering a bit more abuse.
Daryl walked back over to Rin and ducked the smack she aimed at his head. He reached one hand under her shirt and pressed it firmly against her chest as he grabbed her from beneath with the other. In this compromising position he maneuvered her toward the bed and wrestled her down. For reasons which Daryl did not understand, Rin’s protections never seemed to thwart this sort of thing. He toyed with the idea that this could be an avenue to subverting them, but something told him that the only things which happened to Rin were the things Rin wished to happen.
What happened next certainly was of that nature.
During the days which followed, Rin’s mood fluctuated even more wildly than usual. Daryl’s services were demanded at all hours, and with increasing frequency. Rin’s lovemaking, if it could be referred to as such, had acquired an unexplained urgency. Every part of her was brought to bear, eager participants in a desperate frenzy of passion. Daryl found himself bruised or bleeding more often than ever, though he hardly could complain. Something told him that things were approaching a different sort of climax, even if Rin herself didn’t realize it. He certainly hoped so, because he was beginning to have trouble keeping up. She simply had become too ravenous.
What most preoccupied Daryl during this time was something he once heard from a comrade. Back in his soldiering days, he was out drinking one night with a close friend — or as close a friend as could be had in a tightly-held nation of informants. He was only a couple of years older than Daryl, but already married. As the evening progressed, the man grew drunkenly maudlin and began to talk about his wife.
At first, Daryl thought he simply was homesick and missed her. But then the man became plaintive. She just didn’t understand, he opined. What did she think would happen when she married a military man? Apparently, his wife was inconsolable when her new husband had been called away to his first military posting. It only was a six-month assignment, but she begged him to remain, oblivious to the impracticality of her demand.
When it became clear that he would not be convinced, she became sexually insatiable. Their lovemaking took on a violent intensity. By the time the man departed, he was exhausted and grateful for the hiatus. At the time, Daryl suspected the complaints were a surreptitious form of sexual bragging, especially cruel to a virgin such as himself. With a twinge of guilt, he now realized the man had been earnest. He unfairly had resented his friend, even exulting when Rin shot him.
He recognized Rin’s behavior in that story, and it worried him. Something told Daryl that she didn’t simply break up with lovers. Perhaps she meant to kill him, or perhaps she would get him killed. It also was possible that she did not wish him ill but knew he would not survive what was coming. Was she saying goodbye? Or was she trying to drain and drive him away before she had the chance to kill him? That was just the sort of twisted logic of her world.
But Daryl had decided something the day he knocked on her door two years earlier. He would see this through. If she hadn’t killed him then, she was welcome to do so now. Or try. Perhaps he had learned a thing or two. He realized that was nothing but bravado. If she wanted to kill him, he would die. Unless he ran and she simply didn’t care enough to bother chasing him. Daryl wondered if he would be disappointed that she didn’t. Did he want to die by her hand? Somehow he found the idea sexy, but not as sexy as killing her.
Very nice to see things from Daryl's side. I like the way he holds his own with Rin, and is willing to walk away. He's totally the opposite of a puppy.
I appreciate finally Daryl POV, now I hope the most interesting POV will arrive soon, the "Normal World", I mean pollice, States Authorities, World Armies, Governments... How they deal with these incredibile facts that sometimes happen?